I am finally posting something, although I don't think this will become a habit again anytime soon. Very likely I will not post again for another three months. I remember having somethings to say a few times since I last posted, so it is rather strange that when I am actually taking the time to post I have absolutely nothing to say. Either that, or (as is quite likely) whatever I wanted to post involves copious use of brain cells and as of now I have nearly none to spare. Darn.
So really, this post is just to leave my footprint on the Web and show whoever is monitoring my seditious blog that I am still (unfortunately) alive and will have to to take my 'A' Levels and go for National Service and many other things I do not want to but will have to do in the future. I would kill myself but then I have an inordinate aversion towards feeling large amounts of physical pain (not to mention a fear of heights)
In addition, this post is also a first step into transforming my blog into a dramatic monologue from an interior monologue, which I suppose is a good thing because interior monologues tend to be very embarrassing since one is baring one's innermost thoughts to aforementioned monitors and more. God, I nearly spelt baring wrongly-- spelt it as bearing. I frown upon bad spelling in blog posts so it would have been a cardinal sin to be caught out like that. Luckily, I am still alert enough to spot the error.
I reckon thus that this post has been a success: I don't think I've betrayed any insidious rebellious emotions that squirm their way into dramatic monologues (since dramatic monologues assume an audience most of the time a discerning reader can become aware of the persona's inner characteristics through what the persona is leaving out or choosing to say). Actually, maybe not. Saying nothing is itself saying something. Oh well, 再接再厉. The next time I will try to say something that is not at all what I want to say. That would be interesting, and I hope, misleading. These monitors are quite hard to shake off, although it could just be that they want my autograph.
I'll just take life as it comes. 嗯嗯， 痛快绝顶！
One of the guys from church was giving a testimony of what he learnt from a bad experience he had recently (bitten by a dog in his K-9 unit). While denying completely any accusations that I was zoning out during his sharing, I thought of somethings: Generally speaking, people go through life trying their best to avoid conflicts and problems. Certainly nobody looks for difficulties. These crises come inadvertently, come despite our best efforts, I think. Yet it seems that such crises are required for a constant renewal of our faith in God, such that in a worryless life, one tends to forget about God. This suggests that the very crises in life that we are naturally inclined to avoid may be crucial in our spiritual lives: in other words, we may be naturally inclined to drift further away from God.
The first superficial level of relationship with God is where one asks Him to 'give me full marks for tomorrow's econs test' or 'win 4-D' or whatever. This level is easily broken through. The second is where we are aware of the lessons he seeks to impart to us through life's trials, where we thank him for bringing us through the trial by fire to become an improved person. I think the next level I need to be at is where, even should I go extended periods without some trial to gift me a new spiritual understanding, I am able to maintain that high level of faith, involvement and trust in the Lord. Without a doubt, that is the biggest challenge, for one has to be constantly grateful in the absence of any material 'deed' that He has done. The thing about humans is that most memories diminish in intensity over time, and the vivid lesson (and hence engagement with Him) one gleans from one experience tends to fade, bringing one down from that spiritual high. There must be a way to maintain this spiritual high.
I don't know if most Christians can do this, and that my bond with God is just a lot more tenuous than others. Maybe other Christians will look on and laugh, 'ha ha, o ye of little faith' but these are issues that are at least very pertinent personally. I don't think an individual's relationship with God can be subject to judgement by other people. The relationship is between God and you alone, which I think is the basis of being a Protestant, the idea of being able to communicate directly with Him without an intermediary. It is a private bond, just like between you and your mom, for example. Probably you would not consider it appropriate for people to say, 'Oh, I think the way you communicate with your mom is wrong. Everyone should treat their mothers in a rote fashion, as set down by the Divine Law of Mother Talking To' Love is a very subjective thing. Everyone loves differently
At any rate, there is still much thinking to be done but it had better be left to after the A Levels. I don't think there is sufficient time and space to grapple with such issues now.
- Mood:
sleepy
This is the main reason why I avoid writing poetry. Writing contrived phrases that do injustice to the idea is unbearable. Uggh.
Also, today I finally managed to play some basketball for the first time this week. It was quite satisfying for a whole variety of reasons, but learning from the mistakes of the past, I shall not post them here or anywhere for fear of incurring somebody's wrath. One always has to be wary of being accused of slander.
Tomorrow the Lakers take on Boston again. Marcus is on MC and can stay home to watch the game. And I have to go to school and spend four hours from 7 to 11 not having any lessons. On second thought... I feel a bit feverish. Maybe I should go and conduct a temperature taking exercise on my own (I realised my thermometer actually works, but you have to press the button down very hard and hold it there, if not it goes off so while it is in my mouth I shall have to depress it with great force and effort without breaking a) the thermometer b) my retainers c) my teeth d) my jawbone and e) uh bread (sorry bad joke)
- Music:After almost a year I still childishly insist upon writing 'MANDOPOP' here
After a week, I am still doing econs. Being an EOY S grade, I also have a 22 page micro revision exercise which has mercifully been completed, but I am currently still on the last question of the macro homework. Then I'll be done for the holidays, although I haven't touched a Math question for two or three weeks. I don't think there was Math homework. Of course, I've been wrong about this many times before.
One other thing I thought I would discuss here is an interesting statement I read in the Wittgenstein introduction I borrowed from the library that I have to return tomorrow: "... It seems by many he is regarded as quintessentially representative of twentieth century philosophy, as if he exemplifies-- not just in his work but in his personality-- what philosophy itself is [perceived to be] like: difficult and profound. Perhaps for this reason his writings are plundered for aphorisms (aphorisms: a terse saying embodying a general truth, or astute observation, this is as much for myself as for anybody else). They lend themselves to that treatment because of their style and structure, and because they seem to distil something of wisdom"
In other words, Wittgenstein is rudely misused in disgusting acts of intellectual posturing, which is extremely distressing. No doubt many other wise men have been similarly misused. I can't really do anything to prevent such things from happening but at least I can make sure I'm never guilty of such an act, of name dropping without real understanding. Grrr. Such debasement is to be frowned upon. Alla ya homies out there, don't do it!
- Location:I haven't been out of the house since Monday
- Mood:
distressed - Music:Hey, I got new songs in the hols. Mandopop of course
The holidays are coming to an end and sadly, I don't feel any smarter. This is probably because I have engaged in very intellectually unfulfilling activities the past one or two weeks, like reading yet another fantasy series. All the philosophy I've read is now not exactly forgotten, but insignificant, which I suppose is a bad thing and must be rectified. And rectified before the already extended library loan period is up. Agh, I've lost all the momentum I gained. I think my writing style is degenerating back into a messy disorderly chaos.
I had a tarot card reading done yesterday by my brother. Apparently, I am not going succeed without trying i.e. I am not going to ace the A Levels without studying. Ah damn. Also, I'm supposed to keep things in perspective and take things slow and easy. I can do that.
2008 is finally over. In some ways, it was the longest year that I've ever experienced. Quite a few things happened. But 2009 promises to be even longer, and 2010 even longer (NS). I woke up today and realised I'm going to be taking my A Levels this year. The manifestation of such an official, adult force is making me ponder my fear of growing up. 2008 might have been long, but I cannot believe 17 years have passed so quickly. Can I be a baby again? I'm still as clever as I was then. Hooray
- Mood:
bored
Remarkably poor results have forced his hand: no longer can he continue with his decadent lifestyle and hope to succeed. Naturally, the results in question are History and GP, with Math being, mildly put, 'less important'. No longer can he ignore what he has put off too long due to a fatal flaw of hubris. Previously, having believed that his language prowess to be of a certain standard, he was content to stagnate at a level which he now perceives to be Secondary 1 level. He wonders if any writer past and present could ever have claimed to fail an English comprehension test (this is of course, only inclusive of those who use the English language primarily in their writing-- Swahili does not count) as he has does. Apparently not and as such he will now seek to expand his vocabulary as much as possible.
Additionally he has decided to finally read some philosophy and actually make his brain work for its continued existence (bearing in mind his belief that without actualising the brain's full potential, the brain might actually evaporate). Being an infernally lazy person by nature (and also subscribing to the erroneous belief that the basic nature of a person should not be concealed or changed), he has carefully avoided such things as philosophy over the years, because he knows such things will make him think and he doesn't want to, he only wants to play Pokemon Diamond. Now however, it appears that he isn't 'clever' at all, and in order to even eke out some decent grades he will have to utilise his entire brain.
'Brain upgrading', as such, aims to raise this individual's awareness and 'brain stamina'. Brain stamina, while appearing to be a nonsensical term (and indeed it may be as he has just coined the term), actually has a similar meaning to the word 'stamina' used in the context of physical fitness. What he wants is to go jogging (in terms of the brain), 5km a day, until his brain has adapted to the greater rigours of thinking more. This may sound like absolute rubbish to highly intelligent individuals like
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
afez</lj> and the now dead dekonstruction (dead to LJ, at least) but he hopes that such individuals will remain tolerant of lesser intelligences like himself and will not go 'What the fuck? No, no, no, no. You see, Lester, there is no such thing as 'brain stamina'-- wtf? rubbish terminology. If you are stupid, you are stupid. Life sucks, you gotta live with it.' Ignorance is bliss and he hopes he can keep up his delusion, for what is life without hope?P.S. He bought Russell's 'History of Western Philosophy', Foucault's 'Madness and Civilisation' and Jung's 'Modern Man in Search of a Soul' and will read them in that order. He also hopes that no one will vilify him in thinking that he has name-dropped these authors in the futile effort of appearing 'intellectual'. It has happened before (people thinking he wants to appear clever). In no way does he think he is 'intellectual' or 'cultured'. Such an opinion would cause him great pain and will result in him deliberately writing a rebuttal in the worst kind of English possible, with as many grammatical and spelling mistakes as possible, if that will convince people that he is actually very stupid. Please thank you.
- Location:Home
- Mood:
grumpy - Music:Mandopop?
He has decided that if he forgoes the 'I' then he will not be villified for being presumptuous, smart-alecky and pompous, mostly by himself but also by the genuine smart individuals who are called Chng Luey Chun and other such things.
He also flagellates himself for doing exactly what he said he wouldn't do at the start of this year: that is, babble on about the mundane happenings of his life and think that people actually find such codswallop entertaining. Oh, I ate roti prata this morning, oh I punched Tag this morning oh I did this and I did that. He laments his lack of integrity in holding true to his values.
Unfortunately, at the last rationalisation process, the system judged him as slightly more valuable alive than dead to himself (that is, whether his life is worth living) and so he has not yet thrown himself out of his bedroom window. This is because the judgement went as such:
hahahahahaha- Chang Peng
We shall now return to slightly more relevant issues
lc is fat- Chang Peng
These commercial breaks are rather disturbing
Post-thinking session review
Good for nothing, which he knows looks deceptively simple but actually extends over a large number of areas, demonstrating the magnitude of his uselessness: negative infinity utils
Stuff like his family and the weather and laughter: positive infinity +1 utils
Value of life: 1
Recommendation: Normal profit suggests that this person may continue to operate
So he is not dead yet. Next step: find something he is good in. He has been searching for 17 years and nothing suggests the search will end anytime soon.
In other news his thumb is sprained again. For the 12th time. It will drop off very soon, he reckons.
- Location:E303
- Mood:
depressed - Music:LC's melodious voice
Life passes so quickly. In the blink of an eye, I have not posted here for six weeks. I don't really have anything constructive to say, but maybe I have something dekonstructive to say, dekonstructive dekonstruction geddit hahahaha. On the irrelevant topic of the passage of time, I must say that I had a really bad nightmare two days ago, about going to NS. I was crying in the dream and when I woke up I realised that I might have been crying in the real world as well. Wow, sleep-crying. That's a new one. Yeah, NS freaks me out that much. And if time continues to pass so quickly in no time at all I will be doing BMT. Oh no. My dream is to be a clerk.
I am in the school library now, wasting away my life as usual and reading basketball related stuff on the net. Urgh. Pride forces me to continue to stay here and try and write something of respectable length but alas, my muse has forsaken me in the dread lands of Jing Xian Library. Maybe I've stopped liking revealing my feelings as I used to. Yes. It's good to conceal emotions.
As I start typing I have this feeling that this particular entry may be substantially longer than those miserable excuses I have been putting up recently. I have to add a disclaimer that many people have met their untimely deaths by basing their decisions on suggestions or feelings of mine. One never knows if one is going to be sued. This is Singapore after all, and one cannot help but suspect its people to take after its leaders who have been known to bankrupt certain opposing individuals with defamation suits.
Today is Happy Wednesday (like Good Friday, no? Happy Wednesday, Discombobulating Tuesday, ESPN Super Sunday and so on). Happy because I don't have to go to school. In which case, I should have been pretty happy for the holidays but no, only today. To add another item to the list of 'Stupid Things to Do if You Have Too Much Time or Just Like Wasting Your Life Away', just for kicks I woke up at the usual 5.30a.m. as if I would be going to school. And I brushed my teeth and promptly started nodding off at the breakfast table as usual. But here's the good part: Usually at this point I strongly wish I could be back in bed as my joints creak noisily (yeah, I'm getting old... Ahhhhh, those were the days when I was young and strong) and my bed is like a magnet drawing my tired bones back in...
Today however, I got to play out one of my fantasies (sounds kinky, but um, what's kinky about sleeping----------- alone). And as it is with all fantasies, one must role-play a bit:
Me: Damn, I am so tired. If only I could go back to bed.
Mom: [She's playing along and tolerating my extreme stupidity] Yes yes go and bathe now.
Me: Uhhhh I think I won't go school today, Ma. I going back to sleep. Can?
Mom: Whatever la just go back and sleep la
[At this point she gets a bit fed up with my dragginess, especially since when I first woke up the first thing I did was to smile smarmily at her and my brother and then make repeated comments about how 'if only I didn't have to go to school today... WAIT, I DON'T have to go to school today!' like a broken record, looking extremely self-satisfied at the same time]
Me: OK. You say one ah! zzzzzzzzzzzz
Lucas: shaddup la, say again and again, other people will get upset you know! [But this only increases the satisfaction gained, heheheheheheheheheh the world is mine! er sorry, not relevant]
And I sleep blissfully until 11! I am feeling real good now.
So good that I have managed to think up more 'Stupid Things To Do', but this one involves you having 'Too Much Money' as well as 'Too Much Time':
- For this you need a toll toilet i.e. those toilets where you must pay 20 cents or 10 cents to enter, and too much money and time. You also need a toilet attendant outside the toilet collecting the money.
- This doesn't work if the money collection is automatic. A full bladder is optional. Also at least 50 20 cent or 10 cent coins must be prepared for this to be real fun.
- So you walk up to the toilet looking just like any other person minding his or her own business (ah ha, pun, small and big businesses are done in toilets) and you slap 10 cents on the table in front of the Ah Gong toilet attendant.
- You walk in.
- After an approximate time it takes for someone to use the toilet, come out (or really use the toilet if you feel like it).
- Just as you pass Ah Gong's table, turn back, put another 10 cents on the table and re-enter the toilet.
- This can be done with a total stone expression like re-entering toll toilets just as you exit is perfectly natural human behaviour or if you want to provide some backstory then you can give a start of surprise or something and pretend to have forgotten something, although the latter becomes a little strange because you are unlikely to forget something 50 times in a row. So, go with the stone expression.
- After 3 seconds or so, walk back out.
- Pay another 10 cents and walk back in.
- Repeat steps 8-9 50 times (or until you run out of money or time)
Remember, it is critical that you do this as if you are doing nothing wrong. DO NOT feel embarrassed or uneasy, at least, don't let it show. As a matter of a fact, you are doing nothing wrong at all. You have the perfect right to walk in and out of the toilet multiple times and who is the toilet attendant to complain he is earning your money 50 times over. If it all goes correctly, you will have an extremely bewildered Ah Gong toilet attendant who has had a normally dreary day brightened by Good Samaritan you (and your money, of course). As for you yourself, it should be therapeutic having to do something so completely irrelevant and stupid, like in the papers the other day there was this group of people in Japan of Taiwan I can't remember who smash things after work. Furthermore, you have just completely ignored the constricting tentacles of society, busting free of the social construct! At least, that is the theory. You might also die from shame from external factors i.e. the rest of the people in the toilet staring at you, but your skin must be thick enough.
Yep.
................ I can't think of anything to say now. My brain is really dead. arggggggh. brainssss brainssssss
This blogging thing is becoming less and less frequent. Oops. I have been lazy. But maybe the habit will return when school re-opens, although not until after blocks. My mom would slaughter me if I try anything funny. I suppose I could manage a few lines but since when have I been able to keep my mouth shut?
Anyway, I am going to Malaysia (again) and this time it's to Trenggannu (I definitely spelt it wrongly but I don't really care. Er, but what if I spelt it correctly by mistake? Then I will be so embarrassed). The water is cleaner there than at Pulau Ketam (Crab Island). Crab Island was OK on land except for once there was dog crap lying around on the path. My mom pointed this out with almost morbid glee. The waters were, however, incredibly polluted and while I saw some small crabs, I could not but help wonder if all the big crabs were killed off by the crap lying around. Crap Island??? I have a nice photo here that I wanted to post like long long ago but I was too lazy again.
Hohoho I saw this on Crab Island and couldn't resist taking a snap. It's a karaoke lounge, ho ho ho.Woo I haven't been here for like a week already. But I'm back from CAP so I guess I have no excuse. CAP was really fun but I just had tuition with my uncle this morning where we discussed the staidness of the local writing scene and that sort of rubs off the the shine of yesterday's great finale somewhat. But I really loved the CAP experience and being an optimist I can only keep hoping that us young writers can find a way out of this drudgery somehow.
I have a vision for the June hols! I am going to revise my work! I am going to finish my History Term Assignment! I will stop blogging now!
I am again at a loss of what to write. But then, I suppose I must put something down here today owing to the fact that I have not been posting for very long already. Agh. OK, I'm off to scramble for my EOM. Yes. And eat bananas. I'm serious. I am eating a banana as I write this. This has nothing to do with poking fun at Tag Yujie or anything.
CAP is coming up! I am excited.
I am still afflicted with an irritatingly itchy sore throat and a permanently runny nose. Where does all this mucus come from? I hope I get well soon. Wouldn't want to go into CAP snivelling and coughing.
Alas I will not be performing for Capriccio because CAP is happening at the same time. Oh well. I can say very definitely that writing to me is much more important than tuba playing. Although I do regret not being able to perform.
OK, it now looks like a lot has been written down. I am going to stop here. Don't I say this everytime though? How contrived I am.
I got pretty excited today at CAP briefing though of course, my brother and I got lost along the way (Chang Peng, Chang Peng, you gave me directions, but they were not the correct directions. You left me some way to go myself and that is a mistake: left to my own devices I can get lost on the way to Math H1 tutorial...). We got to the briefing late and sweaty, and of course, the CAP councillor on duty asked if I had been involved in some strenuous activity such as walking to the Grange Rd campus from Wheelock Place. So I said 'The weather is very hot.' and didn't go into a convoluted explanation as to how I must be a mutant-- some lucky guys get to emanate optic blasts, I get to ooze sweat and yet another person gets to emanate a decidely abnormal bad smell. We also got a poor guy called Alex embroiled in our bumbling arounds. He planned to take a cab from Wheelock Place. I tried to assuage my guilt by telling him that taxi rides are awfully expensive and he would be better off wandering around confusedly in the hot sun with two dumbasses who not only look alike but also share a similarly low IQ level. I didn't actually apologise to him. Oh shit.
Anyway, the teacher-in-charge, I forgot her name, I can't remember these things, expressed deep concern over the amount of angst-filled pieces and disturbed young minds there seemed to be among many applicants to the program, and how some writers were simply self-indulgent (I am self-indulgent myself, although to a lesser extent than before fortunately). I had to stop myself from thumping my fist in agreement and grunting loudly in approval. So the theme this year is 'Healing Silence', which might be interpreted as 'You Angsty 身在富中不知福 little snots shut up!'
My mom chasing me off again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
All in all, today was a remarkably fascinating day. I had a lot of fun, and the high I've experienced has only been slightly marred presently, because I discovered that I have been very prominently unadded as a friend by someone. In a temporal cloud of emotion that lasted for two sentences I managed to write stuff that was not very nice. Fortunately the cloud hath passed on and I have recovered the presence of mind to stop being mean and delete those sentences. Agh, onward.
The day began with a another tongue lashing from 'Smart Girl' Huishi who destroyed me and my sweeping generalisations about students interviewing adults during PW. On hindsight I should not have tried to defend my tenuous position but instead should have admitted defeat and suffer less pain. What can I say? Men hate admitting that they're wrong and this is not a generalisation, cos I read it from a book whose title I can actually remember. Yeah.
Then Nicolette cheerfully browsed rather scandalous Threadless T-shirts openly, so openly that even Miss Kiran saw some of them, including a shirt with 'Miss Slut' on it and others in the same vein.
As the brain reeled from the horrific beating it had taken from Huishi's barrage, it quickly realised that it couldn't handle the trauma on a conscious level and promptly went on standby mode.
Right before a Lit test.
I only managed to get its lethargic gears creaking and groaning 40 minutes into the 50 minute test, so one can imagine the total codswallop that appears on the first page of my essay.
This was followed by a very frustrating History lecture which I will not elaborate on because then I will have to be rude again. I talk too much already, as it is. A little discretion wouldn't hurt I suppose.
We come now to the really imba part of today. It all began at the volleyball match, where Jersey Number 1 was so powerful Chang Peng, Chi Hern, LC and I couldn't stop raving over her incredible prowess. Chang Peng kept giggling and mumbling 'Special Power!', I became No. 1's No. 1 fan and Chi Hern considered getting her autograph. She managed to win points even with her serve alone. What a killer machine. Totally annihilated VJC.
So after that LC goes home and LCP and Bernice go off somewhere so Chi Hern and I pop over to McDonald's for him to eat lunch while I sombrely ponder my limited finances. We did share a Coke with two straws as if we were a gay couple. Yuck. I grossed my self out with that thought. The suggestion alone was enough to freak us out and we glanced around suspiciously for anyone we knew who could have seen the incriminating evidence of our 'true sexual orientation'. Rachel and Amanda did materialise later but if they saw anything they didn't let on. :P I am inflicted with an unhealthy dose of homophobia.
Then we go to the library and the real fun begins. Chi Hern introduces me to this imba book 'The Shadow of the Wind' by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, which is a really good read from the 250 odd pages I've read so far and it has sold seven million copies and been translated into 40 different languages blah blah blah. You should all read it if you haven't already. Well, it was incredibly amusing in a personal context. Incredibly amusing. I couldn't stop laughing for a long while. Uncanny similarities observed. You see, the protagonist falls in love with this older girl... who doesn't... yeah, you get the point. Striking similarities in emotions and reactions were gleaned from the book. And then some. wahahahaha. I would like to quote a few phrases but I think that would count as being mean. Incredibly amusing, that's all I can say. Really made my day. And I didn't have to pay. How does he write in this way? Today was 15th May. Er right.
Anyway, the day wasn't quite done. I went to the washroom and I heard an old man with his grandchild in a cubicle. Naturally, I assumed it was his grandson, but NOOOOO it was his granddaughter. Three years old maybe and he goes '没有人会看见的啦.' or something and I am taking a leak and this little girl walks past me. ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH. And she went 'yiiiiiiii' at me before leaving the washroom. It was either break down into laughter or faint, so of course I laughed and sped to regale Chi Hern of my uber experience.
Finally, as I stepped into Toa Payoh MRT Station who should I see doubling up as an SMRT Security guard but that Indian guy with the center parting on his hair who used to be the security guard at the college carpark entrance of our school. How the hell did he end up there? He looked embarrassed and paiseh to see me. Whoa, maybe he got fired or something. heh heh.
Imba day. If life was fair I would have more days like this.
- Mood:
crazy
Inertia has taken hold of me again and I am unable to find anything to write in this space. Aw shucks. What do I want to put here anyway? Maybe I should let this blog die down too, hmm?
Another normal day today. It rained for a long while. Wow. I am going to lend LC my 李圣杰 albums tomorrow. Wow. LC. The Big Brain. Listens. To. 'Stupid'. Mandopop. Um. I think I am flogging a dead horse and being awfully petty again. Oh well, that means I still haven't grown up I suppose. Must stop flaming myself, it's not good for PR. Then again, what else can I do? Talk about what a brilliant person I am? I would be lying. But anyway, I must let people judge me for themselves and not bog them down with the preconceived notion that 'Lester is an arsehole because he says so himself. All he talks about is how selfish, lazy, insensitive and mean he is, so that must be the truth', even if it is the truth. Yeah. I hope no one reading this is tempted to place a consolatory comment on how I'm not so bad after all, this only reminds me of times when I have been nasty and/or let people down. Even better, no one is reading this at all. Grooarrr.
The family will be going to Malaysia on early Saturday morning. We're going to some place called Crab Island, whereever that is in Jin Xiang Land. Maybe we'll even pass through his kampung and see first hand the chickens, the coconut trees, the nonexistent sanitation system and so on. Maybe he lives on Crab Island! Maybe on Crab Island live crabs that are also confused about their sexual orientation! But I am being mean. Sorry.
The inertia seems to have been overcome to a certain extent. Very good. In more unrelated nonsense today I couldn't finish my third essay in the AP EL and Composition paper. And to think I even managed to mention The Political Prisoner of Sentosa Chia Thye Poh and his 50 year vacation in that 3rd essay. What a waste. Just like how Mr. Teh cancelled my beautifully expounded lines on the Viet Nam Quoc Dan Dang in my History test. He had the nerve to tell us to write it in short form the next time round. I don't believe it, I just spelt 'write' as 'right', so the sentence pre-amendment read '... the nerve to tell us to right it in short form...' I am so good at languages. Positively scandalous. Atrocious.
I am feeling very ashamed at myself for running out of money and not getting my mom anything for Mother's Day. I shall not go into detail here about why I ran out of money or another round of self-flagellation is bound to happen. Suffice to say I shall get her one as soon as my finances are recovered which would be next week, or I am a turnip. Yes, I will be a turnip if I fail to get my mom anything next week. Leslie of course, has forgotten everything but it is not his fault that he has an IQ of 25. He is not a bad guy, just stupid. Then again, he would say the same thing about me, except that I am a bad guy. Bad and stupid. Bad and stupid. Bad and stupid. Shut up Lester.
Tomorrow looms as yet another long and exhausting day. I cannot wait to go to Malaysia. Envelop me, o smelly toilets of Malaysia. I can withstand anything as long as my family is there with me. Family first. Or so I would like to think. Deep down, I am fully aware of the fact that when it comes down to the crunch, it is self FIRSTer. Damn. The central problem of egocentricity in Man is acute in me.
- Music:Mandopop forever, yes yes, I am childish sorry
Another run-of-the-mill day, thought that rather pointless council investiture would upset me but in the end felt nothing (well, maybe sleepy).
I haven't written anything in this space for a long time and I attribute this to my growing decadence ssssssss. But anyway, here I am.
I have an ulterior motive in posting today: I wanted to say something about my mom and not to any person personally (especially my mom, who doesn't have the time anyway). I'm a day late but better late than never. I had to do my Jewishness presentation yesterday.
More often than not, I've made my mom very angry. I just have, because she said I was spending too much time on the computer. Normally, on an individual basis, I would have gotten angry at this groundless accusation because many of my peers spend twice as much time as I do on the computer but I have nothing to say here because my mom has a case: I am setting a very bad example for my brothers.
My mom is like a Prozac for many people (not in her immediate family, though, bleh) and someone once said to her 'You are the most joyous person I have ever known' yet deep down my mom worries a lot for her sons who disappoint her again and again and it is a miracle that she still finds time to help others and bring joy into their lives. Really, we are all incredibly lucky to have her as our mom even if she can be a little over-protective at times.
Ahh she is chasing me off the computer so I'll sign off here. Anyway stupid Leslie wants me to revise Beloved with him cos his test is tomorrow. What a dumbass.
- Music:MANDOPOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm, right now I am trying to download South Park episodes because Ronald told me it might be a good idea.
Hit the Enter button again and I will have used up another line. Wa-hey. I reckon this inertia is a result of my exhausting my daily word quota-- there is a great deal of resistance when it comes to using these words unnecessarily.
So, now that another line has been wasted I suppose I will sign off here and go and mug econs and download south park episodes and generally rot Life away again. I also need to sleep. So many things to do, so little time (left, after I've wasted the usual half a day). Oh well. GTA4 is out. I do not have a PS3 or an XBox360 and hence cannot play it. Neither do I possess the capital to buy any of these platforms so even the possibility of ever playing the game has also been eliminated. Nooooooooo.
Most commonly used words recently in these spaces: 'Waste', 'Rot'. These two words are remarkably indicative of how I carry out my life
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